"D-Yikes!" is the sixth episode of the eleventh season and the 159th overall episode of the American animated sitcom South Park. It first aired on Comedy Central in the United States on April 11, 2007. In the episode, frustrated with men, Mrs. Garrison makes the boys write an essay on The Old Man and the Sea. The boys hire Mexican day laborers to do the job for them, but they misinterpret the term "essay." Meanwhile, Mrs. Garrison has become a lesbian and finds the bar she hangs out in is about to be taken over by Persian club owners. Mrs. Garrison takes a stand in the name of saving the one place that lets her be the woman she is.
The episode is rated TV-MA, and is a parody of the film 300.
When the episode begins, Mrs. Garrison storms into her classroom enraged over a failed date, and takes her anger out on her male students with an essay assignment over the weekend, making them read The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway in its entirety. At Cartman's urging, they hire local Mexican laborers looking for work to read the book and write their essays for them. When they come back for their essays on Monday morning, they find out that the Mexicans misunderstood them, and instead of writing essays they wrote to their éses, a slang term in Chicano Spanish for friends. Meanwhile, Mrs. Garrison is working out at Curves when she meets a woman named Allison. Allison invites her to "Les Bos" (pronounced "le-bo"), a nearby bar, but Mrs. Garrison is shocked to find out that it's a lesbian bar. After being seduced by Allison, the two engage in scissoring. The next day, when the boys try to explain themselves to Mrs. Garrison about their essay, she happily gives them more time to work, announcing she has become a lesbian, which the class is highly supportive of.
Garrison returns to Les Bos and becomes sociable with all the women, but then is shocked to discover that the bar is being sold to Persians, who plan to make it into a Club Persh Dance Club. Soon after, the Persians send a representative to see the women at the bar. The representative tries to persuade the women there will be no real change, as the lesbians will still be welcome. Nevertheless, it will no longer be solely a lesbian bar, and will be decorated with stereotypically Persian decorations. Mrs. Garrison kicks the messenger in the testicles in retaliation. After the representative returns to the Persian's club, an army of sixty other Persians prepare to storm the bar, but they fail to defeat the women. The remaining Persians go to see their boss, Rauf Xerxes, who decides to handle the situation personally.
Mrs. Garrison decides that the lesbians need a spy inside Club Persh, in order to find illegal activity to use as blackmail, and hires the Mexicans to spy on the Persians. Later, Xerxes arrives, and attempts to reason with Mrs. Garrison, even offering her the job of running the club when he takes control. Mrs. Garrison declines, and tells Xerxes that she knows the Persian leader's secret, found out by the Mexicans — Xerxes is actually a woman. Xerxes is shocked that Mrs. Garrison knows her secret, and says that the other Persians cannot know, as women cannot be in charge in Persian culture. Mrs. Garrison agrees, and in a parallel of her own seduction by Allison, she seduces Xerxes and the two engage in scissoring. Xerxes decides to keep Les Bos a lesbian bar, and is seen at the bar herself. Mrs. Garrison then explains that the school has hired substitutes to take over her class for a while, who turn out to be the same Mexicans again. The boys then decide that the Mexicans are better teachers than Mrs. Garrison. During the math lesson, the Mexicans are explaining how to add fractions, when Kyle remarks, "I think I'm actually learning something".
IGN rated this episode 6.5 passable and said "There are some funny moments, as is almost always the case with any episode of this series. When Ms. Garrison first realizes she's a lesbian and tells the class "I'm gay!" Everyone is a little confused and Stan says "Again?" The joke about "writing essays" is a good laugh. Another moment is when "Janet" Garrison first figures out how two women make love and there's a smash cut to he and his new girlfriend "scissoring." It's a shock moment and makes you wonder how they get away with stuff like this. However, when they use the joke again at the end, it's now not nearly as funny. You can't shock the audience twice with the same joke - it just doesn't work that way."
The lesbians' fight against the Persians, with Mrs. Garrison kicking the messenger, Rauf Xerxes's physical appearance, and a plethora of slow-motion sequences, are references to the Zack Snyder film 300.
It is also a take on the closings of gay bars across the United States.
Cartman: [whistling] Kay Pasol! Kay Pasol!
[Mexicans come forward]
Cartman: Alright, did you read the book?
Mexicans: Si, si...
Kyle: What was it about? In case our teacher asks us?
Mexican #1: It starts there the old man... and he job is to catch the feesh... so he get in the boat to try and catch feesh.
Mexican #2: So he catches feesh... but the feesh is very strong, so the old man can't reel in the feesh.
Mexican #3: So then he fight the feesh some more and he finally catch the feesh.
Kyle: So he catches the feesh so he can make money?
Mexican #1: No... on the way home the sharks come and eat the feesh and so
[takes off his hat]
Mexican #1: ...he no make money.
[Sniffs, other Mexicans take off their hats]
Stan: That's it? That's the whole story?
Mexican #1: Si...
Cartman: Alright, did you write the four essays?
Mexican #1: Si, we all wrote eses for you
Cartman: Let's have 'em!
Mexican #3: Have what?
Kyle: You said you all wrote essays, where are they?
Mexican #1: Well, my ese lives in Miami.